The Impalement Theory

Music should keep you on the edge of your seat, if it were too predictable a band like The Impalement Theory would find it difficult to hold a crowd’s attention. This band thrives on being different! They have a ‘beard’ as the drummer (Josh Haller), a ginger on lead guitar (Dylan Kron), a girl on rhythm guitar (Jen Jaffe), a “midget” on vocals (Paulie Rahilly), and an ‘invisi’-beard-weirdo on bass (JP Monroe). When asked what their music sounds like JP simply said, “TIT” and explained that they’re all influenced by different genres rather than particular artists. “I’ve never actually heard a band that sounds like us,” says Jen. “Every one of our songs can be classified as different [genres].”

One of their songs called “Township Jives” fuses the typical kwaaito beat with metal and you find yourself trying to jive and head bang at the same time. (Not wise, doesn’t work, it is impossible. Trust me.) According to Jen, the song is simply the result of messing around with the idea of ‘kwaaitocore’ and was originally play as an intro at gigs. It was ultimately based on the crowd’s response to it that they decided to develop it into a full length song.  While all of them are influenced by different bands and genres there is however evidence that there are deathcore and grindcore influences within their music, with emphasis on Paulie’s pig squeal and guttural dominated vocals. Being face with the dilemma of the metal scene being overpopulated by bands that sound rather generic, TIT has managed to create a sound that is both unique and enjoyable. For TIT it is all about the love for music as oppose to showing off their skills.

“We don’t really wanna be the fastest, we don’t wanna be the most technical, we just wanna make people fucking groove.”

And make people groove is what they do once they step on stage. Their overly energetic stage presence is what draws the crowd and it becomes impossible to just stand and watch this band live; it is crucial to engage with the head banging masses in order to truly experience TIT live. The crowd becomes one big head banging monster, gobbling up the energy that the band radiates. For a metal band that has barely been on the scene for two years TIT has quite a fan base. I’ve witnessed this band fill up a venue and get moshpits going full force. One can be sure to spot the usual groupies at their gigs, normally chicks with huge boobs sporting t-shirts with TIT written across their chests.

Besides the cross genre influences and odd individuals, TIT has one more thing that no other band in the metal scene has to their advantage; they have the presence of an actual pair of tits as part of the band, belonging to the Jen and her “invisi-balls” on rhythm guitar. Jen is the only female guitarist in the Cape Town metal scene and quite frankly a pretty good one. Being the only chick in the band, she seems to demand a huge amount of respect from her fellow band members who tend to turn to her when guidance is needed in terms of sorting shit out. “I’ve got them all by the balls…” she laughs. “They’re the lost boys and I’m like… Wendy.” “We fear Jen,” JP adds jokingly.

While the band does have an EP recorded it is not widely accessible, however, there are a few tracks floating between the fans via mobile network. Amongst the band members there is talk of recording a full length album but nothing has been placed into action yet. TIT is still young, extremely passionate about music and they seem to have their heads screwed on tightly in terms of balancing the fun and the business. “We always have the best of times; it’s not just like a business band, we’ve created like this family.”

While they have a lot of growing to do within the scene but their determination, drive and love for music makes them a band worth keeping track of. “We’re all different people just rolled in the same sauce”, were the last words they left me with. Take that whichever way you like as long as you prepare yourself to be “Torn Apart by Bears” once you experience The Impalement Theory!